In all honesty, something I've been holding back is a simple fact, but you'd never know if you saw me face-to-face: I can't show my true feelings in public, and in some cases, even in private. I never show when I'm depressed, rarely show when I'm sad, and the hardest thing for me to do is cry. I always try to hide everything, mostly due to the fact that I don't want people who are extremely close to me to see me that way. As such, my emotions get sealed away, and then turn into true, stress-induced depression

I tried to keep off of Twitter, but it was a little hard. However, I've now went as far as to uninstall TweetDeck to keep myself off of that service. I even removed my FriendFeed postings so that it won't post to Twitter. I'll be on LiveJournal, MySpace, GameSpot, and YouTube still, and I might return to DeviantArt for a while.

The thing about twitter is that it's a brain dump. And when I dump my mind in that manner, I lose my inspiration to write. I'm a blogger, a poet, and a story writer. Losing my inspiration like this has been more than just frustrating, it's down right depressing. So, I'm going to be going back to my original writing habits, and leaving Twitter.

Seriously, what's the deal with people hating IE again? I use IE8, and I've had almost no problems. Actually, I've had tons of problems with Firefox as of late, and I refuse to use Google Chrome due to it being by Google (who I have privacy concerns about), Opera due to their recent fit over IE's "dominance" (their browser never has held my interest), or Apple's Safari since I'm not exactly Apple's biggest fan.

I've been using IE8 since it was released, and I've had no security problems, and all of the websites I visit work quite well. It's pretty snappy, and other than a few loading problems every so often, I find it to be much better than anything else I use. The only other browser that I WOULD use is SeaMonkey, and that's because it's community-maintained,fast, and doesn't hog memory like FireFox.

In my opinion, it sounds like people are just holding on to their anti-Microsoft/anti-IE grudge from IE6, and don't want to let it go. A lot of this sentiment comes from the FOSS community, but some does come from the general tech community. It's sad, though, since they'll be missing out on a pretty decent browser.

You can call me a MS fanboy, but I use what I like, and if I didn't like IE8, I wouldn't be using it. So, yeah, why all the hate with IE?

Seriously, I've had so much to do today, and I'm still not close to finishing. Right now, I'm taking a break from studying Japanese to write this, and after I'm done with this, I need to start my written review of "Kirby's Dream Land".

I finally remembered all of the Hiragana again. I only had problems with ゆ and な. I need to start writing down words to work on, though, so I can start studying them. I also need to start practicing Kanji again, since I sort of slack off sometimes.

I also need to work on my art, poetry, and stories. I haven't even come close to finishing my Omega Wars stories, and I think I've gotten rusty as far as my poetry goes. My art... I need to finish FIFTEEN (十五) reference sheets, including three of my own fursona. I also have to practice making "covers" for each part of my Omega Wars stories.

As far as gaming goes, I have three games that I need to work on right now: Pokémon Platinum, Phantasy Star Online Episode 1&2, and kill.switch (which I recently got). I'm not too far into Platinum right now since my friend Discordman had me restart it. I'm stuck on Fantina again. In PSO, I'm leveling up in Ep1 on Hard mode so that I can continue with Ep2. With kill.switch, I'm in the second area, but I don't know how far I am into the game.

On another note, is it just me, or do most YouTube users not know what it means to be civil? I mean, I constantly run into trolls on other people's videos, and nothing happens to them. In one of my older videos where I pointed this out, a user said that attacking people "is the norm". Honestly, that's an insult to civilization. I'm all of freedom of speech, but I think that people should be punished when they abuse that right. Of course, that'll never happen, but at least I can block rude users from my own page.

And... that's all for this brain dump. Maybe I'll have something a little more coherent later.

Twitter has seriously made it hard for me to write decent blog posts. Because of this, I decided to dump it for now, if for nothing else than to save my writing ability.

Actually, aside from the real-time aspect of it, it's really more of a nuisance than anything else. Nothing truly worth saying can be done in 140 characters or less, unless it's in Japanese or something. Because of that, Twitter is more of a gimped IRC/IM and advertising service than a "micro-blogging" tool. Just like with many of the social web services out there, it has a limited lifespan, too. Eventually, perhaps soon, it'll be bought and ruined, and all of that hard work that was put into it will be used in ways that might not be acceptable to everyone.

Personally, I'd like to find a decent web host and make my own website. It's not exactly feasible right now due to both lack of funds and lack of time, but I'd definitely like to make it happen some time soon.

In other news, I've finished recording my latest rants, and I should have just enough time tomorrow to record all of the footage I need for my next video reviews. That's right, I said reviews! Two reviews are coming soon, both of which are hardware. After that, I'll start getting footage for my next game review, which should be plenty of fun in it's own right.

Also in other news, I need to get back to work on studying Japanese, so I'll see everyone later!

Not sure if I’m missing something, but I wrote this in a stroke of creativity. It’s called “Courage of the Dawn”. Tell me what you think:

(Said in a Japanese-style English. Meant to be sung to JPop music)

 

*Start*
Break in-to the day!

*Verse 1*
Hope… It rains down from the sky.
It brings forth a brand new future.
Dream… of a new found glory
Even if our life has run down

*Chorus1*

With the moon shining so bright…
With dangers of the starry night…
Only through fear shall courage SHINE!

*Verse 2*
Hate… It is our enemy.
It is the force that brings darkness.
Truth… It is our greatest weapon.
For only though it shall we be free.

*Chorus 2*

With the stars twinkling so bright…
With the dread of the black night…
Only through fear shall courage SHINE!

*Bridge*

And if we bring…
Our hearts into the light…
Dreaming for an endless future,
We…
Shall find our hopes…
And we shall find our dreams…
Will bring us to tomorrow!

*Chorus 1*
*Chorus 2*

*Final Chorus*
With the coming dawn…
We will keep fighting on…
We shall keep going strong…
Only through fear shall courage SHINE!

(Note: This is an opinion piece)

Seriously, too many social networking and in-the-cloud services are being created every day, and not all of them are trustworthy or reliable. With Google’s recent problems with GMail and Twitter’s constant problems with their API, it makes you wonder whether social networking and cloud computing are really the future, or if maybe they’re already a thing of the past.

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.

• Ask me questions to help me get clear.

• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

• Let me know you like what I've done or said.

• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting

• caring for and being concerned about others

• being able to relax and have a good time

• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

• being confused about what I really want

• caring too much about what others will think of me

• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

• tune out a lot, especially when others argue

• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

NINEsas Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm

• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Wow, have I been busy. I'll try and explain what I've been up to here, but it'll take a lot of text.

First up, my mother is going to have surgery this Tuesday. After having a new chemo port put in, and a wisdom tooth cut out, she's now having a 2mm tumor taken off of one of her lungs. She's tired of being cut on, so hopefully this will be the last owe see of her cancer. Hell, she's been through so much and survived, she might as well be given the title of superhero. She deserves it.

Next up, I've been really busy trying to learn Japanese. I've managed to learn Katakana and Hiragana, so now I'm working on basic Kanji, as well as how to speak the language. It's a lot easier to take notes when you can read and write some form of the basic language. Gives me some practice, too.

Finally, I've started using my Gamespot blog yet again. I'm only using it for my gaming posts, but I'll be using it a little more than my LJ, since so much of what I do is video game related. I'm also going to be updating my MySpace profile over the next few days, adding photos and updating my bio.

I think that's all I've really got to talk about right now. Maybe I'll talk about tech on here sometimes as well.

Game of the past have this feeling of epicness that can’t be shaken. Games like Super Mario Bros. 3, Yoshi’s Island, Pokémon Red/Green/Blue, Sonic the Hedgehog, Ecco the Dolphin, Ghouls ‘N Ghosts (or Ghosts ‘N Goblins)… The list is endless. There’s just something about those games that goes beyond nostalgia and makes you feel like “This is the pinnacle of gaming.” That’s why I continue looking for older games, even ones I haven’t played.

Games like Kirby’s Dream Land and Super Mario Bros. really show how simplistic games can have extreme levels of replay value. Even the more complicated games like Earthbound and Super Mario RPG show that not everything has to be overly complicated. People enjoy simple, yet fun games.

Today, we have a number of really good titles, but they don’t hold my interest as easily as older games. I love Mass Effect, Pokémon Platinum, Perfect Dark Zero, and even Kameo, but I wouldn’t play through them more than once. On the other paw, I’m on my 35th playthrough of Metroid Prime, my 16th playthrough of Earthbound, and my ??th time through Pokémon FireRed. It’s just that older games seem much more… fun… to play through multiple times, while newer games seem boring after the first.

Why is that? I don’t know, but maybe Nintendo and other game devs need to look back and see just where they started screwing up. Personally, I’d love to see more games with the feel that’s missing from the more recent titles.

Yesterday, I went out and bought Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem for the GCN, and Commander Keen for the GBC.

Now, as someone who’s very easily scared out of his wits, I wasn’t too sure how well I’d take playing Eternal Darkness. After playing it, though, I’m pretty sure that it’s going to cause me to have nightmares for several weeks. Therefore, I’m going to put it to the side while I work on Mario Party 4 and Phantasy Star Online Episode 1 & 2.

Commander Keen, on the other hand, is very fun, though a little hard to control. Still, it’s fun to play one of my old favorites from the DOS era. It’s not the first volume, but it’s fun none the less.

I also got the cute pink Yoshi plushie shown behind the games. I’ll come in handy when I’m playing Eternal Darkness. o_o;

Today, after going to Pizza Warehouse, a new pizza buffet near Central Mall, I walked over to Game Exchange and decided to look around. In there, I found a copy of Kirby’s Dream Land for the GB, and an IN BOX copy of Ghouls ’N Ghosts for the Genesis.

I love Kirby’s Dream Land. I’ve always loved Kirby games. Part of this is because my friend Dustin collects those games. Still, it’s good to separate yourself from the 40+ hour RPGs and play a simple, easy platformer, though I’d hardly call Extra Mode “easy”. X_X;

On the other paw, Ghouls ‘N Ghosts is probably one of the hardest games I’ve ever played. I love challenges, though, so I’ll be working on it.

Yeah, that’s all I wanted to say.

Yes, I’m going back to collecting Pokémon stuff again. I’ve got a short list of stuff for now, but it’s a start.

• Indigo League DVD Set 1
• Indigo League DVD Set 3
• Mew and the Wave Guiding Hero: Lucario DVD
• Rise of Darkrai DVD
• Giratina and the Sky Warrior: Shaymin DVD
• Hey You! Pikachu! (N64)
• Pokémon Puzzle League (N64)
• Pokémon Puzzle Challenge (GBC)
• Pokémon TCG 2 (GBC)

I’m focusing on getting the DVD sets and Puzzle League first, then I’ll grab the rest. I think I’ll get some more TCG cards soon, too. I might grab some figures once I get the other games and DVDs.

Wow, I guess HeartGold and SoulSilver has me excited again. Yeah, I think I’ll blame it on them. XD

This is one time where I have say that Leo went above and beyond what is expected of a host. I applaud him and his actions. Mike Arrington when too far with his “What are you going to do about it?” line at 0:36 in the video. Also, a quote from the Friend Feed discussion:

Just to set the record straight: Just to be clear, I almost always buy the products I review, mostly because I don't like "owing" the PR folks and I hate the "when are you planning on covering it" phone calls, but also to avoid the appearance of conflict of interest. My policy is to always return the unit and buy one if I want to keep using it. In this case I accepted a review unit because I was concerned that I wouldn't have one in time to review it on the radio show. It's a 7-day return, as I told Mike. The proffer of a review unit IN NO WAY affects my opinion of a product. It is a standard industry practice to accept review units. Palm never implied or asked for a positive review and they know that if they did so I would never deal with them again. I've worked for 30 years to prove my integrity. Mike's insinuation that I was somehow "on the take" with Palm was about the worst insult you can offer any technology journalist. It's not true. It's never been true. My opinions are my own and have never been influenced by any vendor at any time. - Leo Laporte

Thankfully, Mike wrote an apology on TechCrunch, which is something admirable. However, I can’t wait to see how this plays out. It’s going to be interesting, to say the least.

Edit: Leo and Mike made up on TWiT Live.

However, Steve Gillmor, the man who made the show, sort of came off as arrogant in some respects. He started blaming the chatrooms, which is like a host attacking his audience. He also made a (somewhat hidden) cheap shot at the one who uploaded the video above. It really didn't sit well with me. I don't think I'll be watching Gillmor Gang anymore.

EU may force Microsoft to bundle Firefox with Windows | neowin.net

Yeah, just like with their last “brilliant idea” of having MS put out a Media Player-less version of XP, the European Union is looking at forcing Microsoft to include Internet Explorer competitor Firefox as an option in new systems running Windows.

Now, I know Microsoft Windows is the mainstream OS, so they sort of have a point. HOWEVER, it’s very stupid because Windows isn’t the ONLY operating system on the market. With 100+ versions of Linux, Apple and it’s OS X, and the various versions of BSD, there’s no reason to single them out. Not only that, but Firefox is FREELY downloadable on any system connected to the internet, and, get this, SO ARE OPERA, SEAMONKEY, AND THE LIKE!

Seriously, the EU is just targeting Microsoft for some reason or another. They’ve done nothing to the other platforms, and I’m starting to see a bit of bias in their actions.

I’m not a Windows shill or apologist. I get pissed at MS when they make stupid mistakes. However, this isn’t their problem, This is the European Union being picky and stupid. They need to get a clue and let things work out on their own, rather than trying to control every little…

Yeah. It’s starting to get out of control here. I think I’ll stop with that. My opinion: The EU are pompous assholes that should keep their grubby hands out of Windows.

For some reason, I find myself using a lot of Microsoft’s applications over the open-source and “free” alternatives.

Internet Explorer 8- Yes, I use IE8. Go ahead and laugh. However, I like it. Firefox has become a hog of epic proportions, Opera doesn’t interest me, and Chrome just doesn’t do it for me. IE8 just works.

Windows Live Mail- Of course, if I’m using IE8, I’m going to use Live Mail. Honestly, though, Live Mail has a really nice interface, and I prefer it over Thunderbird or Opera Mail any day.

Windows Live Messenger- Lighter than Yahoo! Messenger, cleaner interface, and a really nice feel to the chat interface. I really like this thing, and I’ll probably make it my preferred IM option before long.

Windows Live Writer- I’m using it right now. At first, I didn’t like it, but the interface grew on me. Not only that, but you can get extensions for it to do various things, so it’s really useful. I just wish it had better tag support.

Windows Live Photo Gallery- It’s a really nice photo organizer, but I really like that I can upload to Flickr from the interface, rather than needing a separate app.

Windows Media Player- Yes, I use WMP over iTunes. I really don’t like Apple’s jukebox app, but WMP has been perfect for my needs.

Microsoft Visual Studio Express 2008- I mostly use it for the Visual Web Developer tool, but since I’m trying to learn how to write actual applications, Visual C# 2008 is very helpful. I might take on Visual Basic eventually, but for now, I just want to learn how to code.

Microsoft Office 2003- I mostly use Word, but the others seem interesting. It’ll be useful to learn how to use the entire suite in the future. Also, integration with Office Live is a very awesome perk.

I dunno, maybe I’m starting to get tired of all of the open-source zealotry, but it does feel good to not care abotu such things and just use what I like.

Well, this seems… unique. I dunno, this doesn’t really interest me. It doesn’t seem like something that I’d use, or really something that I’d want to mess with. I think I’ll stick to the past, or at least watch and see where this thing goes.

• Zero Tolerance
• NBA Jam Tournament Edition
• Disney's Alladin
• Toy Story
• Thunder Force II
• Thunder Force III: Quest for the Darkstar
• Lightning Force (Thunder Force IV)
• Turrican
• Mega Turrican
• Virtua Racing
• Bubsy
• Sub-Terrania