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TeraDyne Azurepaw
08 October 2011 @ 12:02 am

So... I now have "TinyVox Pro" which was a free app for a bit. It lets me record a MP3 file of up to around 30 minutes that I can share in various ways. As such... I'm thinking of making some audio journals from it. Maybe even a small podcast. Just an FYI.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
02 October 2011 @ 09:30 pm

Some people say a tablet will never replace a PC. Yes, Macs are PCs, so don't act stupid. Anyway, after being so restricted in time, I have to say that my iPhone has proven KEY to making me realize something that I should have known better than to believe: well-made smartphones and tablets ARE NOT JUST TOYS. I'm fact, they can be invaluable for productivity in areas like writing and music if you have OCD tendencies. Let me just say: for programming, they're not useful. Get a real PC for that. However, there are many things other than coding, and for many of them,

As a writer, I need to focus on my writing. I found myself getting easily distracted while on my desktop, especially when I have several windows open on one desktop. I might have my twitter app open, enticing me to check it when it updates, or my email coming in to my inbox. If I fullscreen my app on a large desktop screen, it can appear very wasteful or outright difficult to work with. A text editor being fullscreened on a 42 inch LCD looks horrible. However, on my iPhone, it looks just great, and it's extremely easy to read and write without getting truly distracted for more than a moment. Even looking at an SMS and replying takes a few moments and my focus stays on my task.

Speaking of reading, one thing the iPad and iPhone does well is with ebooks. I hate reading large books. I get lost in the text, and thus why I love the Head First series of books. On my iPhone, the smaller pages keep me from getting lost in a sea of words. The fact that the iBook Store uses DRM-free ePub is a plus, too. I seriously get lost in the awesome stories more when reading on the smaller screen, rather than being lost in the words on my desktop.

Oh, and let me say that using apps is so much better than using a damned website for everything. Opening up the LiveJournal app on my phone rids me of the distracting clutter of the website. Even the Wordpress app is easier to use than their web-side composer. Amazon is much easier to browse, and so is eBay. I'm not bogged down by ads, and I see a lot of content. Even Twitter's app works better than their piece-of-shit site. Sadly, the same isn't said for Google+, so there are some bad ones.

There are downsides. On the iPhone, I'm forced to use the one App Store unless I jailbreak the device, though Android isn't like this. However, I do find Android's upgrade paths to be too much for me, and I sure as HELL don't want a tablet running it. I'd rather see an Ubuntu tablet than run Android on one. Oh, there's also the fact that a lot of devices don't have a lot of storage, though that us changing with time. Additionally, some sites force devices to use the mobile site instead of their actual site, and iDevices can't do flash.

In the end, I find that my iPhone works better for my need than my desktop or laptop, but I do need both it and my laptop, since it doesn't do everything. I'd love to have an iPad eventually, just for the sake of a bigger screen, but for now, my iPhone is helping me work. I'm happy for that.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
30 September 2011 @ 09:43 pm

I'm not going to make friends with this post, but it's something that came to mind on my ride home from the store today.

On Zero Street/Towson Ave. here in Fort Smith, there used to to be several video rental stores. Movie Gallery, Blockbuster Video, A-Z Video, and Movie Town were the main ones on the street. Now, only Movie Town remains, because it's part of a hobby store.

That got me thinking: Technology is great, but in every place we advance online, we destroy ourselves just a bit on the local side. With online streaming becoming the norm, video rental stores are going out of business. That's a little over 100 jobs in my town alone that went away. With email, postal workers are slowly losing their jobs. With online shopping, brick & mortar retailers are slowly phasing out.

Now, I'm not saying it's a major problem or catastrophic, but it adds up. Over time, those jobs aren't being replaced in areas that people can simply be retrained for. We can't simply turn someone from hard labor into an IT professional with a bit of retraining. That takes years of education and experience. In addition, some sectors are so flooded with people looking for jobs that they can't take up the missing jobs where we need them.

I'm not saying we should atop such advances, just that we should slow down and evaluate how much damage such innovations can do to the job markets, and if the long term effects might end up being more harmful to the world than it's worth... Oh, wait, businesses usually don't care about that. Not in the ultra-capitalist world of the US, anyway.

Now, I know what my mate Toksyuryel is going to say: there are more ways to make money than getting a job. Well, in the commission work markets, the money that your client has came from somewhere, right? The reason many people don't have the money for commission work is because they have to prioritize that money elsewhere, like food. There's also the freelance world, but that's so unsteady that I can barely count it outside of the tabloid paparazzi, and I won't go into my opinions on them.

The crafts market is also flimsy right now. Outside of custom commission work by wood workers and metal workers, and the creators of custom outfits and costumes, there's little market right now for crafters. The only steady marketable are the commission-based items, but many of the larger buyers are filmmakers and theatre, who do most of their work in-house.

HOWEVER, let me get back to something I mentioned earlier. Remember when I said that the post office is hurting? Who's going to make deliveries for these custom items if the USPS bottoms out? FedEx and UPS rely on the postal workers to deliver items in areas they don't service. I KNOW this is true from personal experience. I used to help run a vending service at the main branch of the USPS here in Fort Smith, on S 74th Street. The sheer amount of FedEx and UPS uniforms that walked to the pick-up counter, and the amount of various shipping labels that dotted packages in the sorting room, was EXTREMELY telling of that. So, if the USPS goes down, people lose parcel service.

That doesn't just hurt people who do business through the USPS. That hurts people who don't have UPS or FedEx service in their area. This trickles back to places like Amazon and NewEgg, who rely on parcel deliveries for their customers.

What about people throttled by their ISP, or who lack broadband? The lack of a video rental store hurts them because they can't get services like Netflix. Oh, Quickster! Wait... The USPS handles all of their deliveries... RedBox! Wait... You need central locations for those...

In summary: Maybe we should start looking at the bigger picture before we act and innovate, rather than flying by the seat of our pants and just hoping things work. The jobs market is a dynamic ecosystem that reacts to such things. Sure, the rat bastards in Washington, D.C. and state governments who call themselves "Republicans" are doing a ton of damage, but maybe they're not the only factor in this situation.

This wasn't made to point fingers or say anything is bad, but to open some eyes. We'll see how many intelligent people can truly see what I see.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
30 September 2011 @ 08:57 pm

Okay, a disclaimer. I don't name names when I quote people in a rant as per my own ethics against dramamongering.

I recently got a PM from someone on YouTube who found this journal. They told me to "cut out the kinky crap and just be normal." I sent a simple reply back saying, and I quote, "Screw you. I write what I want." After a threat, I blocked this person outright.

Here's the thing. I'm not afraid of who I am anymore. I'm transgender. I'm otherkin. I'm a furry. I'm kinky. My most solid skills include sex and sexuality, writing, video games, and creative skills. I do a lot of research and information gathering on subjects that truly interest me. I'm a social being. I'm... me. Don't like it? You don't have to.

My NSFW content will continue to be posted on this journal. I'll be talking about alternative lifestyles, my kinks, my interests... That won't change. Sorry.

Actually, I have a very NSFW post to make later.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
27 September 2011 @ 01:48 pm

So... I actually had an idea for what could help me get some income. Since there's no jobs that I can take in my area, I could write books and sell them digitally. Of course, I would need a proper piece of tech for the job. Due to the needy nature of my family (medical problems), I need a portable device that I can pull out, type on, and put away with ease.

I have a laptop, but I can't call it portable. The quality of the power grid in my part of Arkansas makes it very susceptible to power surges and outages. It's one reason I can hardly keep a working desktop. However, I recently noticed that it's taken it's toll on my laptop's battery, giving it a maximum battery life of about 1 hour. On top of that, a typical OS is slow to boot, and seeing that it's a 17" screen, it's far from light.

I do have my new iPhone. I was lucky enough to get it for free. However, there's little in the way of screen real estate when typing thanks to Apple's piece-of-shit keyboard that takes half the screen. I should know, I'm using it right now. However, that got me to thinking about getting an iPad.

I end up finding out that the iPad is WELL out of my price range. So, as much as I dislike Android on a tablet, I looked at my options there. They're essentially the same. Since I HAVE to get it at best buy, I'm stuck with their prices.

I just... I feel trapped. Wal-Mart has utterly raped and pillaged the economy here, and I'd LOVE to see that business die in a giant meteor impact for that reason. Hell, they essentially turned Arkansas into the Slum State. As a result, unless you make your own company, you'll be hard-pressed to find any sort of job. I wouldn't be able to get one anyway due to my parents needing me so much.

I can't go to college, either. No funding, no way to attend a physical campus, and no chance to keep up with an online course. To the people who shout "bullshit" to that last remark, I had to DROP OUT of TWO online colleges due to family medical emergencies taking over my life.

So yes, I'm trapped her, and I likely will be for a long while. Sorry, but I needed to vent before I had yet another emotional breakdown. I've had too many in the last week.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
25 September 2011 @ 08:26 pm

In trying to sleep, I pulled up the Twitter search for the OccupyWallStreet protests. After watching how the NYPD have been acting, I have to say that I don't think I could ever trust a police officer from that PD again. They're acting like totalitarian military... in some cases even becoming terrorists. Ironic, isn't it? A city torn apart by terrorism has officers who would be willing to terrorize the citizens they're sworn to protect.

I have to say that I know not all NYPD officers are that way, but I'd love to see every brutal officer put behind bars themselves. They committed a crime. They should pay the price.

After what I've seen, I'm never visiting New York, as I'd be more terrified of the police than I would any Muslim extremist. That's just my view. Take it as you will.

In closing, feel free to RT this on twitter if you want. I support the protests. I know that thanks to the brutal officers, things will become violent, and it's only a matter of time before they spark an "NYPD vs the Citizens" war. I just hope that someone stops it before it goes that far.

Also, I know why the banks shouldn't fail. However, at this point, there's no longer any way to avoid it. If they don't fall, the long-term results could be more catastrophic than having them fail outright.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
25 September 2011 @ 06:32 pm

After a conversation on Twitter on me being open and my fears that I would lose friends if I did, I kinda made myself even more afraid of opening up like I had originally planned. I have deep-seated beliefs that would turn even my Master and one mate away from me, among others. It's just one of those beliefs that happens to be so unpopular that people are raised to hate it.

Regardless, I'm sorry, but there are some things that won't be said. I just don't feel comfortable sharing things like that. If that makes me less trustworthy, then so be it. It's better than finding someone to be a possible close friend and then having my hopes shattered by becoming hated for it.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
23 September 2011 @ 09:21 pm

So, just so I can point people here if I explode again...

Wednesday morning, I was awakened at about 02:30 by my grandfather. My grandmother had fallen, and he needed help getting her up. Of course, he has a weak ribcage, and my uncle has to sleep since he's got a job, so I had to do all of the lifting. When I did, my grandmother fought back, and I hurt myself by pulling muscles in my chest and arms. Regardless, I got her up, and ended up getting a lot of blood on my feet from a cut on her hand. She's on blood thinners, so it is quite dangerous.

We got her bandaged up, and due to my phobia of blood, I had to hurry up and get the stuff off before I got sick at my stomach. Sadly, that didn't happen. I get out of that only to learn my grandmother refuses to go to the hospital, despite hitting her head on a door facing and cutting herself open. Since my parents have a "respect her wishes, no matter what" stance, I walked back into my room. THEN I find out that she's going to let us take her. Now, I'm sick and hurting at this point, but I agree to go since my mother isn't feeling up to it, and my grandfather will be driving. No, she won't let us call for an ambulance.

Cue a race to grab my phone charger, shoes, shirt, and belt. We leave after I switch our vans around (one has a wheelchair lift, the other doesn't). We get there, and they rush her back. By this time, she looks like someone embedded a grapefruit in her head right above her right eye, and I wish that were an exaggeration. They order a CT scan, and we wait three hours for that. I had to eat before I passed out, so I had one choice: McDonalds. By the time I was done, they discharged her, wrapped her hand, and sent her home without pain meds. Note, I was kinda angry about that last part, but I understood why.

We get home, and she sleeps all day. Over the course of these last two days, the giant grapefruit is replaced by two black eyes and occasional vertigo, but she's wheelchair-bound, so no worries. HOWEVER, as a result, she's not allowed to be left alone. My mother takes over when my grandfather leaves, but I have to take over is she leaves (which she does, since she mans the phone and talks to all of the doctors and such).

Think I'm done? THINK AGAIN! I'm still hurting from Wednesday, and it's traveled into my neck. My chest and back hurt so bad at times that I can't stand it. However, I have no choice but to ignore it, since I have no health insurance and I can't afford it due to pre-existing conditions. I also have a major ear infection in my left ear that I can't take care of. A trip to a clinic is $100 minimum now, with $25 extra just for prescriptions, and lab work starting at $50. If you don't have insurance, you pay at the time of treatment.

On top of all that, my mother seems to be slowly sing the fight for her life. She's had cancer in various forms 23 times now, with number 24 in progress. Due to the use of medicinal steroids, she's unable to eat much of anything. If she isn't able to stand the smell or taste, she throws it up. As a result of this, she's lost a massive amount of weight, giving her a skin-and-bones starved appearance. The malnutrition as apparently gotten to her judgement and mood. For example, I told her that a shaker of rib rub had turned rock hard, but she still tried to shake it out (it didn't budge). Now, I know she's blind, but she completely ignores people who try to help, and if that person is right, she gets pissed.

All this chaos is finally starting to break through the walls I put up to deal with it. I have no chance at a social life, no chance at an academic life, no hope to find a job, and little time to hone my skills to even have a chance at making money from home. My only consistent link with the outside world has been my phone, since I haven't even had the chance to drive or walk.

I feel like I'm in the Kobayashi Maru test, but with it rigged so that the Klingons just come after me instead of waiting in ambush. This is why I'm so on edge right now, and likely will be until things calm down... If they cam down.

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
23 September 2011 @ 06:22 pm

...Collapse )

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TeraDyne Azurepaw
23 September 2011 @ 02:08 pm

So, I'm trying to figure out a way to make money. I've been rejected from enough places to have completely lost any hope of finding a job in this economic disaster. Hell, I have more faith with the "early adopter"-friendly BitCoin system than I do with the US dollar. (my views on BitCoin are not up for debate in this journal) Regardless, the local grocery store isn't going to be taking virtual currency, so I'm in need of US currency, despite my anti-capitalistic views.

Right now, I'm focusing on my writing. This is until I can can come up with something useful. I considered going the programmer/developer route, but my mind just doesn't work in the way needed for such a skill. I'll be honest, I barely understand algebra, much less any advanced mathematic subjects. That hinders my ability to learn the necessary skills for real development.

My mind is made for creativity, no procedure. I'm a writer, a crafter, a designer... a creator. I'm like my true father, someone who creates art, rather than something purely for function. For example, I'd be better in interior decorating than in interior design (which is an architectural job). Why? I'm better at that creative line of thought. Another example: I can design a story, write dialog, and come up with features, but designing the underlying engine? I'd be absolutely lost.

For those saying "just get a job in fast food", I can't. I've tried, and I just can't. I can't start my own business, either, as I'd need money for that. The tech industry is leaking jobs, either through layoffs, outsourcing or "buy and extinguish" model that many big businesses utilize. The gaming industry would be a nice direction to go, but only by staying an indie developer (thanks in part to EA and Activision). Actually, independent "ANYTHING" is the way to go these days, since the larger the business, the more bad PR you face (this includes America's babies, Google and Apple).

It seems that these days, as long as you don't go corporate, you'll have a better chance of being successful and liked. Yes, I'm taking a punch at Identi.ca on that note, but it also applies to the likes of Apple, Facebook, Google, Twitter, Yahoo, Microsoft, and so on. You have to focus on community, not money.

Anyway, I just made this as a brain dump. Take it as you will.

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