So, just so I can point people here if I explode again...
Wednesday morning, I was awakened at about 02:30 by my grandfather. My grandmother had fallen, and he needed help getting her up. Of course, he has a weak ribcage, and my uncle has to sleep since he's got a job, so I had to do all of the lifting. When I did, my grandmother fought back, and I hurt myself by pulling muscles in my chest and arms. Regardless, I got her up, and ended up getting a lot of blood on my feet from a cut on her hand. She's on blood thinners, so it is quite dangerous.
We got her bandaged up, and due to my phobia of blood, I had to hurry up and get the stuff off before I got sick at my stomach. Sadly, that didn't happen. I get out of that only to learn my grandmother refuses to go to the hospital, despite hitting her head on a door facing and cutting herself open. Since my parents have a "respect her wishes, no matter what" stance, I walked back into my room. THEN I find out that she's going to let us take her. Now, I'm sick and hurting at this point, but I agree to go since my mother isn't feeling up to it, and my grandfather will be driving. No, she won't let us call for an ambulance.
Cue a race to grab my phone charger, shoes, shirt, and belt. We leave after I switch our vans around (one has a wheelchair lift, the other doesn't). We get there, and they rush her back. By this time, she looks like someone embedded a grapefruit in her head right above her right eye, and I wish that were an exaggeration. They order a CT scan, and we wait three hours for that. I had to eat before I passed out, so I had one choice: McDonalds. By the time I was done, they discharged her, wrapped her hand, and sent her home without pain meds. Note, I was kinda angry about that last part, but I understood why.
We get home, and she sleeps all day. Over the course of these last two days, the giant grapefruit is replaced by two black eyes and occasional vertigo, but she's wheelchair-bound, so no worries. HOWEVER, as a result, she's not allowed to be left alone. My mother takes over when my grandfather leaves, but I have to take over is she leaves (which she does, since she mans the phone and talks to all of the doctors and such).
Think I'm done? THINK AGAIN! I'm still hurting from Wednesday, and it's traveled into my neck. My chest and back hurt so bad at times that I can't stand it. However, I have no choice but to ignore it, since I have no health insurance and I can't afford it due to pre-existing conditions. I also have a major ear infection in my left ear that I can't take care of. A trip to a clinic is $100 minimum now, with $25 extra just for prescriptions, and lab work starting at $50. If you don't have insurance, you pay at the time of treatment.
On top of all that, my mother seems to be slowly sing the fight for her life. She's had cancer in various forms 23 times now, with number 24 in progress. Due to the use of medicinal steroids, she's unable to eat much of anything. If she isn't able to stand the smell or taste, she throws it up. As a result of this, she's lost a massive amount of weight, giving her a skin-and-bones starved appearance. The malnutrition as apparently gotten to her judgement and mood. For example, I told her that a shaker of rib rub had turned rock hard, but she still tried to shake it out (it didn't budge). Now, I know she's blind, but she completely ignores people who try to help, and if that person is right, she gets pissed.
All this chaos is finally starting to break through the walls I put up to deal with it. I have no chance at a social life, no chance at an academic life, no hope to find a job, and little time to hone my skills to even have a chance at making money from home. My only consistent link with the outside world has been my phone, since I haven't even had the chance to drive or walk.
I feel like I'm in the Kobayashi Maru test, but with it rigged so that the Klingons just come after me instead of waiting in ambush. This is why I'm so on edge right now, and likely will be until things calm down... If they cam down.
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